Where Have I Been?

I wrote this last month and it didn't post due to setting the date wrong.

I haven't felt like blogging lately, and I contemplated whether I should even write this but I feel sometimes you have to write the bad/ugly to appreciate the beauty.  I have been in a dark space and the last month was rather rough not only for me, but my friend, my marriage. I have been doubting everything ie church, marriage and the list goes on.  Dave and I have been at each others throats everyday and I just felt like leaving and I just know that life isn't suppose to be so miserable.  

I went to conference and listen to the speakers and the talks were great but I left feeling inadequate and envious of those big wigs.  Wishing that my life was as happy as theres.  I came home from conference and asked Dave where are we going in the gospel? What is the point? Are we in or out?  Of course he took it as a personal attack.  I said we have the temple trip coming up to which he replied we shouldn't go?  That was the last straw I have booked, paid and planned this trip on my own since November last year and to have him dimiss it so easily just made me want to go and never come back ever.

I had to stop by at Sister Jenners house and when she opened that door I lost the plot and totally broke down.  (poor sister Jenner). I unloaded my burdens on to her that took awhile.  I am totally blessed that she was there at that time I felt her love and support and she was amazing I love her so much.

I left feeling better and with a new perspective.  A couple days later she gave me a letter with an article from the August Ensign titled Tie A Knot And Hang On.  I'll hang on til the end (i hope).